I have something I wish to share with you, to help you to know the ‘real’ me, what’s been going on in my life and how this has changed me.

The winter months have been a real struggle for me this year. My relationship with Paul was in tatters, things weren’t working out for me in my business, I was unhappy, and my health wasn’t great. I felt disconnected, lost, like my life as I knew it was being pulled out from under me – and I was trying to hold it together and keep it all a secret for fear of exposing myself as being less than perfect.

But about a month ago, it reached crisis point. Paul and I were only hanging together by a thread, our lives falling apart around us – he was unemployed and in financial crisis, my business wasn’t working, my Mum was sick in hospital – and we decided to drive 7 hours to Wellington for a weekend away.

During the drive down we aired our grievances – we shared our hurts, our fears, our hearts – it was not a pleasant process! We said what we needed to say to get it all off our chests, we listened to each other, we tried to understand each other, and we both felt heard. During this process something magical happened – I surrendered. I let go of hiding how I was really feeling, of pretending I had my shit together, of having to be right, of saying or doing the right thing, of being ‘nice’. I felt real, open, vulnerable, and free! And I fell back in love – not just with Paul but also with life!

The façade I was wearing has dissolved, I feel more empathy and understanding for others now – my family, my friends, my clients – even strangers! I feel softer, gentler, more loving, and it feels amazing!

It feels good to really be there when someone is hurting, to be able to listen without judgement, to speak from the heart, and to say “I love you” and really mean it.

From this place of openness, I’m much more aware of how painful life can be – how it feels when relationships are strained, when problems are happening at home or at work, when loved ones are sick or dying, or when you’re struggling with a health crisis.

And what I want to say to you is I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I haven’t always been empathetic or understanding of your pain, of the shit situation you’re dealing with, of the fears you’re facing. I’m sorry if I’ve tried to gloss over your challenges or pain with ‘feel good’ comments because I wasn’t willing to open up and let you in. And I want you to know that I do care – I care about what’s happening and how you’re feeling, I care very much.

I want you to know that you can tell me the truth, tell me what’s really going on, and I will honour that. I will help you move through your pain, working with you gently, taking you by the hand if you need me to.

From many years of experience, I know that what presents as health problems are only the tip of the iceberg to much deeper ‘life’ problems, and it’s in the healing of these underlying issues that positive changes to health and wellbeing occur. So my promise to you is this: I will help you dig deep to heal the underlying issues that are holding you back from being fully healthy and well, so that you can finally be free of the problem, and I’m here to help you every step of the way.

So I want you to know that I care, very much. I want to help you, I want you to be happy and healthy and well. My promise to you is to do whatever I can to support you on your healing journey.

With love,
Helen

P.S. Paul and I had a major breakthrough during that drive to Wellington, and we’re now engaged to be married